what does it mean when a man says nkem to you

A few nights agone at Bay lounge, I saturday with my girls, Ure, Ulo and Ij who had just come in from the US to Nigeria for the holiday. There was too Toyin and Nonye who are full-fourth dimension Lagos residents like me; and as you would gauge (seeing equally nosotros were all single, independent women *bite me*), we started on the topic of men… and before long, we zeroed in on the unique men of Lagos. By the time we had dished on our experiences, Ulo could only exclaim: "It'southward well-nigh epidemic how many unsuitable characters are roaming this metropolis", and she is totally right.

It is astonishing to me that in a urban center where men and women collaborate all the time — and seem to be having the fourth dimension of their lives — some guys are still then fundamentally wrong. Some men are no longer just frogs waiting for a kiss to turn into a prince, they have mutated to eternal toads that won't turn into princes or even common men no matter how many princesses buss them.

Who is tired of kissing these "toads", abeg? Find below 7 archetypal types of guys that women in Lagos demand to stay away from then that they do not waste their time. I have compiled this listing from the conversations my friends and I had regarding the behaviors women dislike in the men here in Lagos. Only don't worry if you recognize some of the following traits in yourself – most of them aren't deal-breakers…or are they?

Bode, the rich son
At that place are so many versions of Bode in Lagos. Bode is usually from a wealthy habitation, he is not necessarily intelligent, but he is well-educated (B.Sc and M.Sc in UK or America), and well-travelled. The thing about Bode's background is that it either makes him very lazy or very proud.

Proud Bode is the overbearing narcissist who thinks very highly of himself. He believes he is God'due south gift to you and is doing y'all a favor merely by looking at you lot, even if you are his form. He is cavalier and scornful, he volition not allow you forget that his shoes are original Salvatore Ferragamo or that his Mercedes was bought from the showroom; and when he gets you a gift, he volition never permit y'all forget how expensive it is.

When you get in a relationship with him, yous find Bode is a compulsive liar and cheater. He is possessive, ultra jealous, nigh always wants to get intimate fashion too presently.

Lazy Bode, on the other hand, lives in a rented apartment on Banana Island or Ikoyi but never invests his money on state or stocks. He does non seem to have whatsoever sort of thought of what he wants to do with his life, so he just feeds off his parents with pride. He actually is not worth anything, only dude is e'er decorating his persona. He drops names in between conversations so that you tin know how important he is or how connected he is. And accept you also noticed that Bode more often than not likes to gossip besides? Please, avoid Bode at all cost.

Jide, the Dutch Chief
You will almost always hear Jide referring to girls in full general as materialistic and golden diggers, simply considering he cannot wrap his heed around the fact that equally a man, he should give his woman gifts. He volition invite a girl to lunch and and then subtly suggest they get Dutch. In fact, he makes her feel like they are on a tight budget from the very first date. He never splurges to buy his girl annihilation that would toll him much. Treats are non-existent; gifts, grudgingly given, are of low-value and with little thought given to them.
Fifty-fifty at the honeymoon stage, he would wing the girl on holiday in that upkeep airline. On several dates, he would mention that he left his wallet and will never pay back after she takes the bank check. It is not like Jide is stingy, he only does non understand why he should share or gift the substance of his toil to anyone else. This kind of guy finds it hard to propose to whatsoever daughter; he can be 45 and still be contemplating. Do you really want to wait that long to notice out?

Nonso, the hustling hustler
Nonso is the struggling music artiste or retired Yahoo-Yahoo guy who is also lazy to get a task because he is hoping that he will soon "blow". He claims to have a side hustle and is jack of all trades. He has no realistic vision – he has all kinds of dreams but no plans to attain them; his sole aim in life is to make money no matter what it takes. He takes reward of all a girl has to offer, including her body and heart. Worst part is, Nonso has an alibi for everything. He blames his 'sick fortune' on a poor upbringing, uncaring parents, family expletive or even the authorities. Funny affair about Nonso is that he can be generous when he has made the coin; but relish that money with him and he believes that you are indebted to him for life. His one truthful love is coin, why compete with that?

Toye, the hooked merely "unhappy"
Toye is the virtually upsetting of all these men. He is a argent-tongued demagogue who lies about everything. He leads you to believe that he is trapped in a loveless matrimony or relationship, that you are his saving grace and he is going to eventually leave his girlfriend, fiancée, married woman or sometimes, even children for you. Unfortunately, half of what Toye is telling y'all is a lie. He is manifestly unable to stay faithful to the woman he fabricated a commitment to, and is manipulating his situation so that you feel sorry for him and fall for all of his lies. And let's not even talk about the diseases yous are probable to get from him because most times, you are not the simply one. When he is finally done with you, he will tell you how his wife has learned of your relationship and disappear, leaving you with Herpes. What is information technology with the allure of the taken man, actually? No thing how handsome or alluring, Toye must be avoided.

Ochuko, the Leeching Lover
Information technology is then hard to resist Ochuko because he is about always handsome, smooth with words, attentive and proficient in the sack. He get-go seems similar a super dainty guy who is going through some tough times, only in truth, he is a parasite, waiting for you lot to work and feed him. He has no job and no plans on e'er getting one. He never has anything to offering but always wants to receive from you. What is worse is that he's got champagne sense of taste on a beer budget and knows how to manipulate his mode into your wallet to support the lavish lifestyle he desperately wants. He is the dude yous meet driving his girlfriend's machine to work, living in and having parties in his girlfriend'due south flat, and even paying tithe on behalf of his girlfriend'southward monthly cheque. Good thing is, it is easy to spot Ochuko though. Very often, he is the one that tells you lot he loves you lot way also early with hope that you lot are desperate enough to believe him, he gives you lot the impression he wants to settle down and y'all are his pick, eastward.t.c. Ladies, please, never allow Ochuko in your life because when yous go broke, he will leave you and start looking for other prospective ATMs.

Oche, the church brother
Information technology is painful that the expert sisters are the ones who ever autumn prey to Oche. Oche seems nearly perfect: he does not only become to church building, he has a human relationship with God, and he is active in a service unit of measurement – possibly an conductor or instrumentalist. He has a good chore, seems responsible and is level-headed. He is, however, as well self-righteous and besides secretive. He "does non" drink or smoke, and does non hesitate to tell others to follow adapt. He will tell a daughter that God revealed her as the one for him , and from the very first engagement, he volition preach to her, request her to quit booze, stop wearing certain hairdos , cosmetics , clothes e.t.c as they are unholy, but he will be the outset to osculation her on the date, "skiz" her mammary gland and whip out his "uhlala" when he takes her dorsum to the flat. He is a wolf in sheep clothing. It is hard to trust him because he seems to ever have a subconscious agenda. He is unpredictable and nearly always turns out to be someone else in the long run. Run!

Kola, the Misogynist
As far every bit I know, Kola is an uncultured 'razzite'. He is not only a chauvinist, he has a lot of insecurities; he is incredibly shallow, bitter and abusive. You lot should exist able to spot Kola from the offset. He makes no secret of his cynicism toward women as he insists on making rude and insulting comments nigh women every single run a risk he gets, refusing to be courteous when situation call for him to be. When out with his girlfriend, he does not effort to hibernate the fact that he is checking out other women while in her presence; he flirts with the waitress and he fifty-fifty goes as far as to bragging about his past conquests. Overall, he lacks respect for women. Kola does not hesitate to slap his girlfriend for ambulation an stance or beating her up the infinitesimal he feels a fresh flare-up of testosterone. He is somehow notwithstanding stuck in the Stone Age when men were filled with the erroneous notion that they were superior to women and could treat them anyhow. Sure, there are possible reasons why he might have turned out the way he is, but that should not exist your trouble, merely stay abroad.

Nnamdi, The 'Mumu' lover
Now, I have never actually met this guy (I have just heard of him), but apparently, he is "the squeamish guy". Nnamdi picks the daughter up for a date and takes her at home later; he is attentive and calls all the fourth dimension; never argues, always agrees to every word that falls from his girls lips; compliments her all the fourth dimension; and surprises her with gifts and picayune acts of kindness. He is emotional, expressive, generous, romantic, forgiving, and near times patient…everything a woman wants, isn't information technology? Unfortunately, most women in Lagos are independent strong women and these qualities might be nice, but they are no longer enough. You see, Nnamdi also nags doubts himself and needs constant reassurance most his relationships, meanwhile, confidence and independence are very sexy traits in a human being which virtually women in Lagos who are looking for a strong partner they can lean on, look out for. Truth be told, as a woman, you would never exist able to respect a man who has a low self-esteem. So, better to say adieu at present, while it is still good, and salve yourself from impending drama.

Aside from the eight listed above, other types of men you may have come across include Dami (the Momma's boy), Ifeanyi (the Mr. I Am Ever Broke), and Afolabi (the "My ex is my best friend" man due east.t.c. Does your 'guy' fall under whatsoever of these categories? have you had an experience with whatsoever of these guys, or maybe you have another to add to the list?

Please share your story or add a annotate in the box below, yous never know whose time yous could save.

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Source: https://www.bellanaija.com/2016/01/nkem-ndem-8-types-of-men-you-will-definitely-meet-in-lagos/

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